Parenting autistic children and 'Permissive Parenting'.
Campaign to Challenge Blame 2024
Hello and welcome to November’s edition of my ‘Campaign to Challenge Blame’ newsletter.
This month has seen substantial mainstream news coverage of ‘SEND’ related issues - families and parents have been able to share their stories relating to tactical Local Authority delays, inappropriate and inaccessible school placements, and the horrific abuse of autistic children (seclusion and restraint). It is certainly helpful to have national conversations around the abhorrent practices and mistreatment that our autistic children regularly face.
Here are some of the stories that I have found relatable:
Inside the SEND crisis where council 'delay tactics' are denying parents support
'I quit to fight for my son': how the SEND crisis is wrecking women's careers
'We are broken': Surge in complaints over SEN support | ITV News
CCTV shows pupils abused and locked in padded room - BBC News
Each story relates to autistic children and their school experience. For each parent sharing their individual story, how many more families will have almost identical stories to tell? My family’s experience of navigating the ‘SEND’ system is represented in each one of these articles. The accumulation of rejection, mistreatment, injustice and inequality for a whole generation of children and young people is truly heartbreaking.
Parenting autistic children and ‘permissive parenting’.
Parents of autistic children commonly report being told by involved professionals that their children’s ‘behaviour’ (autistic presentation, communication or response) is due to a lack of parental boundaries. Parents report being told that they allow their child too much control, or do not instill enough discipline. (Running and Jata-Hall, 2023)
When my child was no longer able to attend school (and withdrew himself from that environment), I was told that I was simply not being firm enough and that I must explain to him that he had no choice but to attend.
This assessment of parenting is based upon the Baumrind model of parenting styles which was developed in 1971 and is still appropriated by social work practitioners (and other child-related professionals) as a framework by which to identify healthy and concerning types of parenting.
Baumrind considers the optimal parenting style to be ‘authoritative’, embodying high levels of both warmth and control over the child. Where a parent shows warmth but sets (and / or enforces) few rules or boundaries, Baumrind considers this to be ‘permissive parenting’.
Research conducted in 2020 finds that “PARENTING STYLE DID NOT PRODUCE STATISTICALLY SIGNIFICANT RESULTS FOR INTERNALISING BEHAVIOURS” (Clauser et al, 2020. p.16) within autistic children. (‘Internalising behaviours’ - research author phrasing - are explained as social withdrawal and / or limited peer engagement, which I am connecting to situational issues such as school attendance and social interaction.)
Whilst Clauser’s et al research utilises deficit-based language and categorises autistic presentation and communication as ‘behavioral’, there is some merit to be found in their conclusions relating to parenting styles (as defined by Baumrind) and the lack of evidence to support a premise that parenting style affects the presenting ‘internalising behaviours’ of an autistic child.
The research authors also consider ‘parenting’ in terms of stress parents have been exposed to whilst advocating and attempting to obtain support for their children:
“Parents of children with ASD are faced with a multitude of challenges and stressors … parents face advocating for the appropriate education, care …” (Clauser et al, 2020. p. 17)
This consideration is perhaps useful in supporting the premise that it is the navigation of public provision which causes stress and trauma for the family unit, rather than the inadequacy of parenting skill.
Research authors also consider (what they refer to as) the bi-directional nature of parenting autistic children, in that it is often necessary to adapt parenting style to suit the specific needs of an autistic child:
“…the extreme challenges of parenting a child with ASD may influence the style a parent chooses.” (Clauser et al, 2020. p.4)
Such reflections and overall conclusions by the research authors may provide useful support for parents who wish to challenge professional assessment alleging it is the impact of parenting style which produces withdrawal and avoidant type presentations within their autistic children. Certainly, I think this paper is useful in terms of challenging the use of the Baumrind framework for assessing the parenting of autistic children. For autistic children who are also highly anxious and / or demand avoidant, authoritative parenting would only serve to exacerbate a distressed response and this research could support the need for professionals to employ an alternative framework for parental assessments - the category of permissive parenting is not appropriate.
However, the research paper does come with a !HEALTH WARNING! Authors employ considerable deficit based language, including a suggestion for ‘treatment’, and consider a causal link between parental style and “externalising behaviours in children with ASD” (Clauser et al, 2020. p, 16). I am concerned that this could support the view of some professionals and practitioners that a) external autistic communication and presentation is undesirable and requires management (ABA), and that b) it is appropriate to place causality with parents for normal autistic presentations - both of which neglect to consider the role of inappropriate support and provision in creating distress for autistic children.
The full research article can be accessed here:
Parenting styles, parenting stress, and behavioral outcomes in children with autism.
My newsletters are a space to share information which may be useful in challenging the many and varied blaming narratives that autistic people and their families face when attempting to secure useful provision.
I also share other useful information and my own autistic experiences via my Facebook page.
Until December,
Best wishes,
Alice X